BRING ME SCHRÖDINGER’S HEAD
The mollusk walks up, well. not walks up, SWIMS up and says, well.. he doesn’t talk.. Alright, lemme start over.
a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows
this is halloween // panic! at the disco
boys and girls of every age
wouldn’t you like to see something strange?
come with us and you will see
this, our town of halloween
Snapchatting someone you like is SO much harder than snapchatting a friend.
A black guy, a priest and a rabbi get on a plane…
oh my god
Flowers in a graveyard on Day of the Dead, Mexico. Photo by National Geographic.
OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND SHE SAYS “My son told me an inappropriate joke today, and he told me he got it from you” AND I WAS SUPER CONFUSED??? SO I ASKED HER WHAT THE JOKE WAS AND APPARENTLY HE SAID “how do skeletons communicate? They bone each other” I AM SO DONE
coming out of the closet? no. i’m coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because i want it all
imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.
Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.